You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: How can an extroverted personality trait transform into a successful leader? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Part 1 (General)
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

It is argued by some peoples that an extroverted personality can be become a wellgood leader. I agree with this opinion. Extroverted personindividuals hasve many strengths and qualityies that isare helpful for leading others effectively. Firstly, extroverted people are usually socially confident and outgoing. They feels comfortable to meeting new people and makeing friends easily. They can talks to anyone without feeling shy or nervous. This helpes them to build the relationships and trust. A leader must to have good people skills to get along well with theire team. Extroverts hasve a naturally ability to connects with others. Secondly, extroverts tends to be optimistics. They looks at the positive side of the situations. Even in hard times, they stays hopeful and motivates others those around them. As a leader, it is important to keeps people feeling encouraged. A leader with an upbeat personality can boost the team's morale and productivity levels. Extroverted leaders inspires confidence in they'reir followers. Thirdly, extroverted individuals are often assertive. They are not afraid to speaks up and share theyir opinions. They are comfortable taking charge and making decisions. Leaders needs to be decisive and willing to takes responsibility. Extroverts hasve the courage to step up as a leaders when needed. They are not hesitant to voice theyir thoughts and ideas with otthers. In conclusions, I beliefve that extroversion is a valuable traits for leadership. Extroverted people possess social skills, positive thinking, and assertiveness, which enable them to be good leaders. Of course, not all extroverts will automatically be a successful leaders. They still need to develop other important leadership qualities such as integrity, empathy, and strategic thinking. ButHowever, their extroverted nature gives themprovides a strongs foundation to grow into excellent leaders.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument regarding the advantages of extroverted personalities in leadership roles. Key strengths of the essay include a logical structure with distinct paragraphs that address different aspects of extroversion and leadership. The writer effectively communicates their agreement with the prompt and provides relevant points to support their view. Critical areas for improvement include addressing spelling and grammatical errors, which detract from the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing. Additionally, the essay could benefit from more varied vocabulary and improved transitions between ideas to enhance coherence. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving spelling, and enhancing the flow of ideas with better transitions. The conclusion was also refined to provide a more definitive summary of the key points. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating specific examples or personal experiences to strengthen the argument and using a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition. The tone of the essay is appropriate for an academic setting, maintaining a formal and persuasive style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with clear paragraphs, but the flow between ideas could be improved. Some transitions are abrupt, and the use of cohesive devices is limited. For example, using phrases like 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' could enhance the connection between points.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'extroverted persons has'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'to speaks up'), and awkward constructions. While the meaning is generally clear, these errors detract from the overall quality. Improving grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures would enhance the writing.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'personlity', 'opnion', 'qualitys') and repetitive phrases (e.g., 'extroverted people'). To improve, the writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and ensure correct spelling to enhance clarity and professionalism.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing how extroverted personality traits can contribute to successful leadership. However, it lacks depth in examples and could benefit from more specific instances or personal experiences to strengthen the argument. Additionally, the conclusion could be more definitive in summarizing the key points.
6.0

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