You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Part 2
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

In some countries of the world, people are thinking that a biglarge amounts of money should be used to build new railway tracks for high-speed trains among cities. On the other hand, other peoples believe that this money should instead be invested in makimproving existing transport systems better. Both sides will be discussed in this essay, and I will give my opinion. There are good reasons why large moneysignificant funds should be spendt on fast train lines between urban areas. The main reason is becausethat it will letallow people to travel much quicker, and this is very good advantage. If trains go very faster, thenwhich is a considerable advantage. If trains operate at higher speeds, it is possible to move between cities in a shorter time, which saves every person'ssaving everyone time. LessFewer hours are wasted in travelling. Alsodditionally, when railway lines are modernized and new, trains can carry more passengers ion everyach trip, and itwhich will reduce crowding. However, rather than building entirely new railway lines, I believe the money should be used to enhance current public transportation. Firstly, in almost every city, there are existing bus and train networks, but sometimes they are very old and need repairing or improving. By spending money to fix these systems, they will become more efficient and can benefit many people daily. Furthermore, it is much cheaper to upgrade what already exists rather thean constructing brand-new infrastructure from the startscratch. The money saved can also be put inallocated to other areas like healthcare or education, which isare more important for society. In conclusion, while iI can understand the reasons for wanting high-speed trains, in my opinion, it is better to invest in makimproving our current transport bettersystems. Cities already have public transport that can be made more efficient with some moneyfunding rather thean needing massive funds for new rail lines. I believe this approach will be the most beneficial and cost-effective for the majority of the population.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing both views regarding investment in new railway lines versus improving existing public transport, and it presents a clear opinion advocating for the latter. Key strengths of the essay include a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing both perspectives, and a concise conclusion. The writer's opinion is clearly stated, and the arguments are relevant to the topic. Critical areas for improvement include the need for more specific examples and a deeper exploration of the implications of each viewpoint. The use of cohesive devices was somewhat limited, and transitions between ideas could be smoother. Additionally, there were several grammatical errors that affected clarity and accuracy, which have been corrected in the revised version. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving vocabulary choices, and enhancing the flow of ideas with better transitions. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating specific statistics or case studies to support arguments and using a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition. The tone used in the essay is appropriate for an academic context, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, phrases like 'On the other hand' and 'However' are used, but more varied linking words could enhance the flow. To improve, the writer could use more cohesive devices to connect ideas and paragraphs more effectively.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, such as 'a big amounts of money' (should be 'a large amount of money'), 'should be spend' (should be 'should be spent'), and 'rather then' (should be 'rather than'). These errors affect clarity and accuracy. While the writer demonstrates some range in sentence structures, the presence of errors suggests a need for improvement. To enhance this score, the writer should proofread their work to correct grammatical mistakes and ensure proper sentence construction.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition and awkward phrasing, such as 'big amounts of money' and 'large money.' The use of terms like 'high-speed trains' and 'public transportation' is effective, but the essay could benefit from a wider range of vocabulary. To improve, the writer should aim to use synonyms and more sophisticated expressions to convey their ideas.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both views regarding investment in new railway lines versus improving existing public transport. The writer presents a clear opinion, advocating for the latter. However, the development of ideas could be enhanced with more specific examples and a deeper exploration of the implications of each viewpoint. For improvement, the writer could include statistics or case studies to support their arguments.
6.5

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