You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: In many countries, social media sites like Facebook and Twitter have become increasingly popular. However, some people say that social media can be used as a tool for online bullying, known as cyberbullying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

In nowatoday's modern world, the internet and websites have becomes more and more increasingly famous, especially the social media platforms like tTwitter, Instagram, and Facebook to, which connect peoples all around the world. However, these amazing inventinons also have also dark sides with negatifve consekquences that cannot be ignored or skipped without thinking on itoverlooked before use. One of thoese effects is the increased of in cyberbullying cases that, which puting both childsren and adults as vikctims under severye mental sufferings. Before we started to discuss and analysine cyberbullying, we must to understand what is tht is and how it differ with norms from traditional bullying that has existed sincefor ages. The main differentce is the cyberspace factor and, meaning that the victim does not need to be in the same place or room even wias the bully. Alsodditionally, social medians give provides people with anonymous protection, allowing them to show their real face without consenquencese or afraidfear. Another factor is the wide audience that a cyberbully can reached out with just a click of a button to share embarrasmentsing photos or private information about the victim in front of the whole worlds eyes! These factors makes cyberbullying much more dangerous and damaging. To summarise, I am totalcompletely agreeing that social media has becaome a powerfull weapone and tools in the hands of bullyies to hurt others. Unfortunately, it has become more worse to control this act and putincreasingly difficult to control this behaviour and impose limits ofn it. we have toWe must spread warnings and raise awareness about this dangeros, particularly in the hands of children, as a first actionstep to minimise huarm. The next steps should bcome from social media companyies by adding more restrictive policyies and taking seriosly reports against cyberbullies, and may be seriously, and perhaps require aing proof of identitys before opening new accounts. If we take these steps, we may be we canable to put an end to this badnegative trends and letallow only good side shinethe positive aspects of social media to shine.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic of cyberbullying and presents a coherent argument. Key strengths include a relevant introduction and a logical structure with distinct paragraphs. However, critical areas for improvement include addressing grammatical errors, enhancing vocabulary, and providing more specific examples to support claims. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical issues, improving coherence with better transitions, and refining the vocabulary for clarity and sophistication. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating specific statistics or case studies related to cyberbullying to strengthen the argument further. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and serious approach to the topic.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. The use of cohesive devices is present but could be more varied and effective. For instance, using linking words like 'furthermore' or 'in addition' could enhance the logical progression of ideas.
5.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues and incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'becomes' instead of 'become', 'puting' instead of 'putting'). These errors affect clarity and readability. While there are some complex sentences, the overall grammatical range is limited. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures.
4.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate for the topic, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'famos', 'negatif', 'viktims', 'anonymus', 'dangeros') that detract from the overall quality. The writer demonstrates some range in vocabulary but could benefit from using more sophisticated terms and avoiding repetition. For example, instead of 'bully', they could use 'harasser' or 'perpetrator'.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the topic of cyberbullying and presents a clear position that agrees with the statement. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited, and the examples provided are not fully fleshed out. To improve, the writer could include specific examples or statistics related to cyberbullying to strengthen their argument.
5.0

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