You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: In many work environments today, people from various cultural backgrounds work together in teams. While this diversity can lead to creativity and different perspectives, it can also pose challenges. Discuss the benefits and difficulties of working with people from different cultures in a professional setting. What can companies and employees do to improve cross-cultural teamwork? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

In many companies and jobs, peoples work with colleagues of many differentfrom various cultures. This can havinge both benefits and troublchallenges. I will discuss about thithese aspects and what businesses and workers can doing to makimprove teamwork better forin multicultureal environments. On aone hand, when people from many different backgrounds work together, it can creat cree innovative solutions and new looking atperspectives on problems. Because eEvery culture has its own ways of thinking ways and knowledge,; when you combinatinge them, it leads to very powerful ideas that just ona single perspective could never thinkingachieve alone. For example, my uncle works in a bank and says his multicultural team always makingconsistently develops better marketing campaigns because they appeal to a wider audience with diverse viewpoints. But However, at athe same time, cultureal differences can also bringing about problems. If peoples misunderstand each other's customs or expectations, it willcan cause confusiong and sometimes even offense. Alsodditionally, language barriers make communication very difficult, leading to mistakes or badnegative feelings among team members. My cousin studyies at university and she tellingold me about a project where students didn't understand what others were saying because ofdue to poor eEnglish, so they ended up argueing instead of working.resulting in arguments instead of collaboration. To improvinge cross-cultureal teamwork, I thinkbelieve both the company and employees have responsibilityies. Firstly, businesses need givingto provide training abouton cultural sensitiveity and how to respect diverse perspectives. They should also providingoffer language lessons if needed to helpingfacilitate communication. Secondly, workers must keeping an open mind and try to learn about theyir colleagues' backgrounds. They need to be patient and flexibile, notavoiding jumping to conclusions if misunderstandings happenoccur. In a nutshellsummary, working with other cultures can be both an advantage and a challenge. Creative ideas comemerge from different viewpoints, but confusion can also resulting too. Companies must training employees in cultural issues and language, while individuals keepshould remaing open-minded to build harmonious teams. With effort from both sides, multicultureal teams can be very successful and benefittingcial.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task by discussing both the benefits and challenges of multicultural teamwork, as well as suggesting solutions for improvement. Key strengths include the identification of relevant examples and a logical structure. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, vocabulary variety, and coherence. The structural changes made include refining the introduction for clarity, improving transitions between paragraphs, and correcting grammatical errors. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include enhancing vocabulary sophistication and providing more detailed examples to support arguments. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and informative style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure, but the flow of ideas is sometimes unclear. There are instances of abrupt transitions between points, which can confuse the reader. Using more cohesive devices and clearer topic sentences would enhance the overall coherence. For example, linking sentences more effectively could improve the logical progression of ideas.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues, incorrect verb forms, and sentence structure problems (e.g., 'this can having both benefits and troubles'). While the writer demonstrates some range in sentence structures, the frequent errors hinder overall clarity and accuracy. More attention to grammatical rules and sentence construction is needed.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several instances of repetition and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'peoples', 'creat', 'combinating'). The use of more varied and sophisticated vocabulary would enhance the quality of the writing. Additionally, some phrases are incorrectly formed, which detracts from the overall clarity.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both the benefits and challenges of working in multicultural teams, as well as suggesting solutions for improvement. However, the response could be more focused and structured, with clearer examples and a more developed argument. For instance, the introduction could better outline the main points to be discussed.
6.0

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