You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: In some parts of the world, an increasing number of students are using electronic devices such as tablets and laptops in the classroom for their studies. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Part 2
6.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

These days, in many countryies, more and more students are using electronic devices like tablets and laptop computers in the classroom to learn. I think this development haves both advantages and disadvantages, but overall the good thing about it is more than the bad thing.benefits of it are greater than the drawbacks. On the one hand, electronic devices can make learning more interesting and interactive for students. For example, instead of just listening to the teacher talk or reading from textbooks, students can watch videos, play educational games, and do online exercises using their tablets or laptops. This can help them stay more engaged and motivated in class. EFurthermore, electronic devices also allow students to access a lotwealth of information and resources very quickly and easily, which can helpenhance themir learn better and faster.ing experience. On the other hand, there are some potential problems with using too much technology in the classroom. One concern is that it can be a distraction for students. If they are spending too much time playing games or chatting with friends online, they might not pay enough attention to the lesson or docomplete their work properly. Another issue is that not all students may have access to the same technology or know how to use it welleffectively, which can create inequality in the classroom. In conclusion, while there are both benefits and drawbacks to students using electronic devices in class, I believe that overall it is a positive development. As long as teachers set clear rules and guidelines for how and when to use technology, and make ensure all students have equal access and support, I think it can greatly enhance the learning experience and outcomes for students in the modern world.
DeletedOriginal textAddedCorrected text

Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of using electronic devices in the classroom, presenting a clear position that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Key strengths include a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for more thorough development of ideas, particularly with specific examples and a deeper exploration of disadvantages. The use of cohesive devices could be enhanced for smoother transitions between ideas, and there are instances of repetition in vocabulary that could be addressed by incorporating synonyms. Grammatical accuracy needs attention, particularly with subject-verb agreement and article usage. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing more detailed examples or statistics to support points and varying sentence structures for greater complexity. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical structure that includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother. For instance, the use of cohesive devices could be improved to enhance the flow of the argument. To improve, the writer could use more varied linking words and phrases to connect ideas more effectively.
6.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement ('student' should be 'students') and incorrect article usage ('the good thing' should be 'the good things'). These errors affect clarity but do not significantly impede understanding. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures.
6.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the topic, but there are instances of repetition (e.g., 'student' and 'electronic device'). The use of phrases like 'educational game' and 'online exercise' shows some range, but the overall lexical resource could be enhanced with more sophisticated vocabulary. To improve, the writer could incorporate synonyms and more varied expressions to avoid repetition.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of using electronic devices in the classroom. It presents a clear position that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. However, the development of ideas could be more thorough, with more specific examples and a deeper exploration of the disadvantages. For improvement, the writer could provide more detailed examples or statistics to support their points.
7.0

Related Writing Samples

Part 2
5.0

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?

Part 2
6.5

Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
8.0

We have become a disposable society, preferring to buy new products rather than fixing existing items. What are the causes of this trend and what are the possible solutions?

Part 2
5.5

The tendency that news reports in media focus on problems and emergencies rather than on positive developments is harmful for individuals and the society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
7.0

Today single-use products are still very common. Why is this? What are the problems associated with this?

Part 2
6.5

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?