You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Inflation has increased dramatically in many countries around the world. Discuss some of the factors leading to rising inflation. What solutions can governments implement to address this issue? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic of inflation and identifies several contributing factors and potential solutions. Key strengths include the identification of relevant issues and a basic structure that includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include enhancing the depth of analysis regarding the factors and solutions, improving coherence through better transitions, and correcting grammatical errors. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical mistakes, improving sentence clarity, and adding transitional phrases to enhance flow. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing specific examples to illustrate points and varying vocabulary to avoid repetition. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and informative style.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion. However, the flow of ideas could be improved with clearer transitions between points. For instance, using cohesive devices like 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' could enhance the connection between sentences and paragraphs. Improving the logical sequencing of ideas would also contribute to better coherence.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('have been rise'), incorrect article usage ('a lot country'), and awkward sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, these errors detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition and awkward phrasing, such as 'have been rise' and 'make inflation worse.' The writer could benefit from using a wider range of vocabulary and more precise terms. For example, instead of 'make prices go higher,' the writer could use 'drive up prices.'
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The essay addresses the topic of inflation and discusses several factors contributing to it, such as rising oil prices and supply chain issues. However, the response lacks depth in exploring these factors and does not fully develop the solutions proposed. For improvement, the writer could provide more specific examples and elaborate on the effectiveness of the suggested solutions.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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