You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: My favorite holiday Write at least 250 words.

Part 1 (Academic)
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

My most favourite festival is Diwali, twhisch happens in India every year. When I was a child, my family will celebratinged this holiday with so much joy and fun. Now, as an adult, I continue to enjoy dDiwali with equal passion. There are several reasons why I like dDiwali so much. The first and most important reason is that it is a time for families and friends to come together. During dDiwali, everyone gathereds at someone's house to celebrate together. We shared food, drinks, and laughter, and catch up on each other's lives. It wais a great time to bond so closely with a loved one. Another reason I enjoy dDiwali a lot is the festive atmosphere. The streets are decorated in bright colours and lights, and there is a feeling of happiness in the air. People dressed up in theyir new clothes and visit their neighborurs to exchange sweets and gifts. The sound of firecrackers and the sight of diyas (oil lamps) added to the festive mood. One of the most special aspects of dDiwali for me is the significance behind the festival. Diwali represents the victory of good over evil, and celebrating it reminds me to always strive for righteousness and fight against wrong. It is a time for reflection and to renew my commitments to living a good life. The rituals and traditions associated with dDiwali, such as cleaning the house and worshipping the goddess Lakshmi, also have deep meanings that I appreciate. In conclusion, I really love dDiwali because it is a chance to be with a family, enjoy the festive cheer, and reflect on important values. The joy and warmth of this holiday isare unmatched and will always remained my favourite.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the topic of the writer's favourite holiday, Diwali, and provides several reasons for their affection towards it. Key strengths include a clear expression of personal feelings and a good description of the festive atmosphere. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, coherence, and lexical diversity. The structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, enhancing the flow between ideas, and ensuring proper paragraph structure. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating specific anecdotes or examples to deepen the discussion and using a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition. The tone used is appropriate for a personal essay, conveying warmth and enthusiasm for the festival.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay generally follows a logical structure, but the flow between ideas could be improved. Some sentences feel slightly disjointed, and the use of cohesive devices is limited. For example, using phrases like 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' could help to better connect the ideas. A clearer introduction and conclusion would also enhance coherence.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('my family will celebrating' should be 'my family celebrates') and incorrect tense usage ('as a adult' should be 'as an adult'). There are also awkward constructions that affect clarity. While the writer demonstrates some range in sentence structures, the errors detract from the overall effectiveness. More attention to grammatical accuracy would improve the score.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the topic, with some good expressions such as 'festive atmosphere' and 'victory of good over evil.' However, there are instances of repetition, such as the word 'diwali' and 'family.' To improve, the writer could incorporate synonyms or varied phrases to enhance lexical diversity. Additionally, some phrases are awkwardly constructed, such as 'a love one' which should be 'a loved one.'
6.5
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the topic of the writer's favorite holiday, Diwali, and provides several reasons for their affection towards it. However, the response could be improved by providing more specific examples or anecdotes to enhance the depth of the discussion. Additionally, the essay could benefit from a clearer structure, such as distinct paragraphs for each reason.
6.5

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