You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Nowadays, high technology has become an integral part of our lives. Discuss the positive and negative impacts of advanced technology on society and individuals, and give your opinion on how we should deal with the challenges posed by high technology. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Part 2
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

Advansced technology is increasingly becomming a huge part of life today. There isare computers, the internet, smartphones, and other high-tech devices which have a many impacts ton people and to society too. This essay will discuss aboutthe positive and naegative impacts ofrom high technology and how to deal wit.h them. One positive impact is that tekchnology makes life more convenient. We can use smartphones to communicate easily with people far away. Alsodditionally, online shoppping and food delivery apps make it so convienient to buy things and get food dielivered to our homes. It is soThis is much more convenient compared to the old days. Another benefit ofrom modern tekchnology is that it makes many wortasks more efficient. For example, companyies can use computer siystems to store data and doperform analysies moreuch faster than doing it manual. Itly. This significantly improves producktivity for businesses very much. However, there are several drawbacks of high technology that we must consider it. First, it can makes people too dependent on their devices. Many peopleindividuals are addicted to smartphones, always checking social media and cantunable to put their phones down. ItThis has naegative aeffects on people's relationships and private lifves. Secondly, high technology causes some jobs to be lost. When factoryies use robots and automations instead of human workers, theremany jobs will be lost many jobs for people. SoTherefore, tekchnology can makexacerbate the uniemployment problem get worse inin the future. In concloousion, high technology brings both positives and negatives to individueals and society. It improves convieniensce and efficiency in life and work, but also causes smartphone addiction problems and job losses too. I believe the way to deal thiswith these challenges is by finding a balance. We should enjoy the beniefits of technology but must also control it, not letrather than letting it control us. ForTo address the job problem, the governmaent needs to create new types of work and train people for a high-tech world. If we can find ritethe right balance, high tekchnology will bring more positives thean negatives for everyone.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task by discussing both the positive and negative impacts of advanced technology. Key strengths include a well-defined structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, as well as a clear opinion on how to address the challenges posed by technology. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for more thorough development of ideas and specific examples to support arguments. The original essay contained numerous spelling and grammatical errors, which have been corrected in the revised version. The use of cohesive devices has been enhanced to improve the flow of ideas. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving spelling, and enhancing the clarity of sentences. Transition words and phrases have been added to improve coherence. Further improvements could include providing more specific examples and elaborating on the points made to enhance depth. Additionally, varying vocabulary further would improve lexical resource. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. The use of cohesive devices is limited, which affects the overall clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on using a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance the logical progression of ideas.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues and incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'makes people too dependent', 'company can use'). These errors affect the clarity of the writing. While there is some variety in sentence structure, the overall accuracy is lacking. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical mistakes and practicing more complex sentence structures.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used in the essay is somewhat repetitive, with words like 'technology' and 'convenient' appearing multiple times. There are also several spelling errors (e.g., 'advansed', 'becomming', 'smartphons', 'convinience') that detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should aim to use a broader range of vocabulary and ensure correct spelling to enhance clarity and sophistication.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both positive and negative impacts of advanced technology on society and individuals. It presents a clear opinion on how to deal with the challenges posed by high technology. However, the development of ideas could be more thorough, and some points lack depth and specific examples. For improvement, the writer could elaborate on the examples provided and ensure that all arguments are fully developed.
6.0

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