You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Scientific research should be carried out and controlled by the governments rather than private companies. To what extent do you agree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Part 1 (Academic)
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

I agree to some extendt that scientific research should be carried out and controlled by the government rather than private companies. There are someeveral reasons for this view, which I will explore in this essay. First of all, when the government control thes scientific research, ithey can allocate funds and resources more fairly. The government can decide whatich areas of research to focus on based on the needs of society as a whole. For example, they may put more money into medical research to find cures for diseases that eaffect many people, likesuch as cancer or Alzheimer’s. Private companyies, on the other hand, may only focus on research that can bring them profit, even if it does not have much benefit for society. Secondly, government control can ensure that the research is conducted ethically. They can set rules and regulations to make sure that researchers follow guidelines and do not cause harm. Private companyies may be more tempted to cut corners or take risks in order to getachieve results faster or cheaper. For instantce, they might test new drugs on people without proper safety measures in place. However, there are also some disadvantages to government control. One concern is that it can limit innovation and creativity. Researchers may feel pressure to only work on projects that the government approves of, rather than pursuing their own ideas. This can slow down progress and prevent new discoveryies from happen.ing. Another issue is that government bureaucracy can make the research process slow and inefficient. There may be a lot of paperwork and red tape involved, which can delay important projects from moving forward. Private companyies may be able to move more quickly and be more flexible in their approach. In conclusion, I believe that while there are benefits to government control of scientific research, it is important to strike a balance. There should be oversight and regulation to ensure that the research is ethical and benefits society, but there should also be room for private companyies and individual researchers to pursue their own ideas and make new discoveryies. Only by working together can we achieve the best outcomes for scientific progress.
DeletedOriginal textAddedCorrected text

Expert Feedback

The essay presents a clear position on the topic and discusses both the advantages and disadvantages of government control over scientific research, which is a key strength. The structure is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, there are critical areas for improvement, particularly in grammatical accuracy and the use of cohesive devices. The essay contained several grammatical errors, such as incorrect verb forms and subject-verb agreement, which affected clarity. Additionally, the use of transitions could be enhanced to improve the flow of ideas. The overall tone is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance. For further improvements, the writer could incorporate more specific examples and a wider range of vocabulary to enhance sophistication and clarity.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical structure that includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, using cohesive devices like 'furthermore' or 'in addition' could enhance the flow of ideas. Additionally, the conclusion could more clearly summarize the main points.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a basic range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement ('government control the scientific research') and incorrect verb forms ('be carried out' should be 'should be carried out'). These errors affect clarity and accuracy. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical mistakes and varying sentence structures.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task, but there are instances of repetition and some inaccuracies, such as 'instant' instead of 'instance' and 'conduct' instead of 'conducted.' To improve, the writer could incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and idiomatic expressions, such as 'fostering innovation' or 'ethical considerations,' to enhance the sophistication of the writing.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position, discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of government control over scientific research. However, the argument could be more fully developed with additional examples and clearer reasoning. For instance, elaborating on specific ethical guidelines that governments could enforce would strengthen the argument.
6.5

Related Writing Samples

Part 1 (Academic)
8.0

You eat at your college cafeteria every lunch time. However, you think it needs some improvements. Write a letter to the college magazine. In your letter, explain what you like about the cafeteria say what is wrong with it suggest how it could be improved

Part 1 (Academic)
6.5

The graph below shows average carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
6.0

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.0

The pie charts show the destination of export goods in three countries in 2010.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.0

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.0

"Violence in playgrounds is increasing. However, it is important that parents should teach children not to hit back at bullies."