You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is better to get married before the age of 30, while others feel there is no need to rush into marriage at a young age. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Part 2
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

Nowadays, it is a hot topingc whether people should marriedy before reaching thirty years old. There are different opinnions, as some believinge it is best forto marry young while others think there is no need to quickly enter marriage. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of the issue and give my personally view. On the one hand, marrying before the age of 30 has some clear advantagees. Firstly, at a younger age, most people are healthyier and have more energy to take care of a family and rasingise children. If one waits until older, mabye health not sothey are older, maybe their health will not be as good anymore and, making it hard to keep up with kids. Alsodditionally, marrying young means a longer time with a spouse to build a relationship and makcreate memoryies together. This can lead to a more stabble and satisfactionying marriage in the long term. However, other peoples argues that rushing into marriage before 30 is not neccessary. The main reason is that many individuals are still focussing on education and career in their 20s, and are not ready for the commitment and responsaibilities of family life yet. They want to enjoy freedom and a single lifestyle more before settleing down. Furthermore, marrying too young can sometimes lead to regret later if a person changes a lot or realisezes they made a mistake in choosing their partner. Waiting until a bit older and more mature can help avoid this problem. In my opinion, I beliefve that the right age for marryiage is different for each person depending on their situation and priorities. Some may feel ready tofor marriage in their early 20s, while others prefer to wait until their 30s or even later. MThe most important thing is to make ensure both partners are on the same page and have compatible goals and values, regardless of the exact age. Of course, it is also needcessary to have financial stability and emotiional maturity to handle the challenges of long-term commitment like marriage. In conclusion, there are valid arguments on both sides of the debate about whether one should marry before the age of 30. Ultimately, it is a personal choice that depends on individual circumstances. As long as a couple haves a strong relationship and areis prepared for marriage, the exact age may not matter so much.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task by discussing both views on marriage before the age of 30 and providing a personal opinion. Key strengths include a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, as well as a coherent flow of ideas. However, critical areas for improvement include addressing spelling and grammatical errors, enhancing the development of ideas with more specific examples, and improving the use of cohesive devices for better transitions. Structural changes made include correcting spelling errors, improving grammatical accuracy, and enhancing clarity in phrasing. For instance, 'should married' was corrected to 'should marry', and 'belief' was changed to 'believe'. Additionally, phrases were restructured for better coherence. Further improvements that could be implemented include incorporating specific examples or statistics to support arguments, as well as varying vocabulary to avoid repetition. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear transitions. For instance, phrases like 'this can lead to more stabble and satisfaction marriage in long term' could be rephrased for clarity. Using more cohesive devices and ensuring logical progression between sentences would enhance coherence.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates some grammatical range, but there are numerous errors in sentence structure and verb forms (e.g., 'should married', 'is best for marry young', 'other peoples argues', 'I belief', 'right age for marry', 'depend on situaion', 'most impotant is to make sure'). These errors affect clarity and accuracy. To improve, the writer should focus on using correct grammatical structures and ensuring subject-verb agreement.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'nowdays', 'toping', 'diffrent', 'advantagees', 'yonger', 'healthyer', 'mabye', 'reltionship', 'memorys', 'stabble', 'neccesary', 'individuls', 'focussing', 'comitment', 'regret', 'probem', 'impotant', 'chalenge', 'relatonship', 'prepare', 'marrage') that detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should focus on using a wider range of vocabulary accurately and avoiding repetitive words.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both views on marriage before the age of 30 and provides a personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited, and the examples provided are not very detailed or specific. To improve, the writer could include more concrete examples or statistics to support their arguments.
6.0

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