You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Some people prefer to communicate face-to-face, while others prefer to communicate via email or phone calls. Which method of communication do you prefer and why? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
The essay effectively addresses the prompt by clearly stating a preference for face-to-face communication and providing several reasons to support this choice. Key strengths include a logical progression of ideas and relevant examples that illustrate the points made. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, as there were several errors that detracted from the overall quality. The use of varied vocabulary and smoother transitions between points could enhance coherence and cohesion. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving transitions with phrases like 'Moreover,' and ensuring proper subject-verb agreement. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating more specific personal anecdotes to strengthen the argument and varying the vocabulary to avoid repetition. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and persuasive style throughout.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical progression of ideas. However, some transitions between points could be smoother. For example, using linking phrases such as 'Moreover' or 'In addition' could improve the flow between the reasons presented. Additionally, the conclusion could be more explicitly tied back to the main points discussed.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
The essay contains several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('the other person do not understand') and incorrect verb forms ('I am prefering'). While the overall meaning is clear, these errors detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task, but there are instances of repetition (e.g., 'face-to-face' and 'communication'). More varied vocabulary could enhance the essay. Additionally, there are some awkward phrases, such as 'I am prefering,' which should be corrected to 'I prefer.' Using synonyms or more sophisticated expressions would improve the lexical range.
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The essay addresses the prompt by clearly stating a preference for face-to-face communication and providing several reasons to support this choice. However, the development of ideas could be enhanced with more specific examples or personal anecdotes to strengthen the argument. For instance, including a specific instance where face-to-face communication resolved a misunderstanding would add depth.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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