You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Some people think that it is always better to change jobs every few years. Others however believe that it is better to stay in one job for a long time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Part 1 (Academic)
5.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

In today's world, some peoples are believinge that changeing job withins every fews years is morea better thingsoption. Meanwhile, another people haves believe toin keeping one job infor a long times. This essay is goingwill discuss twoboth sides of this arguement, and i give my opinions too. ByI will provide my opinion as well. On one sidehand, there have someare several advantages when people are change their jobs after a few years of works. First things is, when a person changes jobs regularly, they can get moreain different knowledges and experience. Each job is needrequires different skills, so by changing job,s, a person can learned many skills and improve their abilityies. Second thing, with oftenfrequent job change job,s, a person havs the chance to meet a lot of people from diverse backgrounds. Building many connections can be very helpful for future life and career. And 3rdLastly, peoples sometimes feel bored if they keep working in 1one place for longa long time. SoTherefore, changeing jobs gives them newa fresh feeling and motivations to work again. In On the other hands, people who keep the same job for longmany years also have benefits themselves. Mtheir own benefits. The main reason is that, if a person stays in one job, they can gain a deeply understand abouting of the jobrole and can bebecome an expert in thait. Because they already know everything related to that job, so work can be more easier and more efficienlyt. Furthermore, when a person keeps a job for a long time, they will haveearn more trust from their boss. The longer they work, the more trust and respect they can getain. This thing can make people havecan lead to better opportunity to geties for higher positions or sallary inies in the future. Lastly is that, some people justsimply feel more security and stability when they work in the same place for a long. Because they know time. Knowing they will not loose their job and income, so can allows them to feel peace of mind. In my personally opinion, iI think staying at a job for a long time is the better choice. Although changeing jobs can givprovide new experiences and opportunities to meet new people, but iI believe that beingcoming an expert in one job is more important. When we have strong skills and trust from others in the workplace, we can easier to succeed inmore easily in our careers. Alsodditionally, if we change jobs too muchfrequently, it can be hard to build deep relationships with co-workers, which is also an important thing foraspect of work life. So iTherefore, I prefer to choose a job that iI really like, and then work hard and keep workingto stay there as long as possible. In conclusion, there are both advantages and disadvantages tof changing jobs every few years or staying in one job for a long time. ButHowever, in my view, keeping a long-timeerm job is better because can make usit allows us to become experts and trusted person inindividuals in the workplace, which is key forto career success.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task by discussing both perspectives on job changes and providing a personal opinion. Key strengths include a structured approach with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, vocabulary range, and the development of arguments with specific examples. Structural changes made include clearer topic sentences, improved transitions, and corrections to grammatical errors. Suggestions for further improvement not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating specific examples or statistics to support arguments and enhancing vocabulary variety. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes unclear, and transitions between points could be smoother. For example, using cohesive devices like 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand' more effectively could enhance clarity. Additionally, the use of paragraphing could be improved to separate distinct ideas.
5.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('peoples are believing'), incorrect verb forms ('change job', 'can learned'), and awkward sentence structures. While the writer demonstrates some range in sentence structures, the frequent errors hinder overall clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and practicing complex sentence structures.
4.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several instances of awkward phrasing and incorrect word forms (e.g., 'peoples', 'change job', 'efficienly'). The writer also repeats certain phrases, such as 'change job' and 'long time'. To improve, the writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and ensure correct word forms are used.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both views on job changes and providing a personal opinion. However, the arguments could be more developed and supported with specific examples. For improvement, the writer could include more detailed examples or statistics to strengthen their points.
5.5

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