You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Traveling to new places is one of the best ways to learn about the world and expand your horizons. What are some of the benefits of traveling to new and unfamiliar destinations? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Part 1 (Academic)
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

Travelling to new and different places areis one of the best ways forto learning about the world and makingexpand your horizons bigger. There are many advantages tof going to places you have never been before. Firstly, when you travel somewhere new, you experience different cultures. You see how other people live theire lifves, what kinds of food they eat, the clothes they wear, and the languages they speaking. This helps you understand the world better and realizse that your own culture areis just one of many. For example, when I go to visited my friend in Japan, I was surprised to see how polite and respectful everyone is, bowing to each other. It was different thanfrom my country, but I learned to appreciatinge it. Secondly, travelling to new places often means you must step out ofrom your comforting zone. You must figure out how to get around in an unfamiliar city, communicate with people who maybe don' not speak your language, and try new things. This can be scary, but it also helps you grow as a person. It builds your confidentce and independence. I remember feeling very nerveous when I first arrived in New York City by myself, but by the end of the trip, I feelt proud that I managed on my own. Also Moreover, exposure to new things and ideas when you travel can make you more creative. Many artists and writeres say they get inspired by the places they visit and the people they meet. Seeing new sights, hearing new musics, and tasting new foods - it stimulate your mind in a refreshing way. Maybe itIt may even give you new ideas for your own work or hobbyies back home. Of course, not everyone havs the money or time for lots ofextensive travel. ButHowever, I believe even small trips to nearby towns or parts of your own city youthat you have never explored before can have a similar aeffect. The important thing is to put yourself in new environments with an open mind. In conclusion, while it takes some effort, I strongly believe that travelling to new places provides many benefits. It broadens your perspective, pushes you out of your comfort zone, and inspires creativity. It is one of the best ways to truly learn about our big world.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively discusses the benefits of travelling to new places, providing relevant examples and personal experiences, which is a key strength. However, it lacked a clear thesis statement and some points could have been more fully developed. The introduction has been improved to explicitly state the main benefits of travel. Critical areas for improvement included grammatical accuracy, coherence, and lexical resource. The corrected version addresses grammatical errors, enhances coherence with better transitions, and reduces repetition in vocabulary. The use of cohesive devices like 'Moreover' has been added to improve the flow between ideas. Further improvements could include expanding on each point with more detailed examples and varying sentence structures to enhance grammatical range. Additionally, incorporating more idiomatic expressions could enrich the lexical resource. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and informative style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with clear paragraphs, each focusing on a specific benefit of travel. However, the transitions between ideas could be smoother, and some sentences feel disjointed. For example, using cohesive devices like 'Moreover' or 'In addition' could enhance the flow. Improving the linking of ideas would strengthen coherence.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('Travelling to new and different places are...'), incorrect verb forms ('go to places you never been'), and punctuation mistakes. While the meaning is generally clear, these errors detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition (e.g., 'travel' and 'places'). Some phrases are awkwardly constructed, such as 'making your horizons bigger' and 'go to places you never been before.' To improve, the writer could incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and idiomatic expressions, such as 'expand your horizons' or 'explore new territories.'
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the benefits of traveling to new places, providing relevant examples and personal experiences. However, it lacks a clear thesis statement and some points could be more fully developed. To improve, the writer could explicitly state the main benefits in the introduction and ensure each point is elaborated with more detail.
6.5

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