You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: We all need to manage our time. Think about a skill you have for organizing your time and describe it to a friend. Write at least 150 words.
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
The letter demonstrates a clear attempt to share a personal skill related to time management, which is a key strength. The structure is generally appropriate, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, there are critical areas for improvement, particularly in grammatical accuracy and vocabulary variety. The letter contained several grammatical errors that affected clarity, such as incorrect verb forms and subject-verb agreement. Additionally, the vocabulary used was repetitive and could benefit from more sophisticated synonyms. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors and enhancing the flow of ideas with better transitions. For instance, the phrase 'I writing you' was corrected to 'I am writing to you', and 'I doing the task' was changed to 'I do the task'. Further improvements could include providing specific examples of tasks Vikram manages and discussing the impact of his time management skills on his daily life. This would enhance the depth of the letter. The tone used is friendly and appropriate for a letter to a friend, which is commendable.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The letter has a basic structure with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is somewhat disjointed, and transitions between points could be smoother. For example, using cohesive devices like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally' is helpful, but more varied linking phrases could enhance coherence.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
The letter contains several grammatical errors, such as 'I writing you' instead of 'I am writing to you' and 'I doing the task' instead of 'I do the task'. These errors affect clarity and accuracy. To improve, Vikram should focus on subject-verb agreement and proper tense usage, as well as sentence structure.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate but lacks variety and sophistication. Words like 'good', 'great', and 'small' are repetitive. To improve, Vikram could use synonyms or more descriptive language, such as 'effective' instead of 'good' and 'compact' instead of 'small'.
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The letter addresses the task by sharing a personal skill for organizing time, which is writing down tasks. However, it lacks depth and detail in explaining how this skill is applied in various contexts. To improve, Vikram could provide specific examples of tasks he manages and the impact of this skill on his daily life.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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