You stayed at a friend's house last weekend and lost your watch. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, you should thank her for the good time you had describe your watch tell your friend what you would like her to do with it when she finds it
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
Key strengths of the essay include a clear structure that addresses all parts of the task, such as expressing gratitude, describing the lost item, and making a request. The tone is friendly and appropriate for a letter to a friend. Critical areas for improvement include enhancing the specificity of gratitude, improving the clarity of requests, and correcting grammatical errors. The use of varied vocabulary and more complex sentence structures would also strengthen the writing. Structural changes made include improving transitions between paragraphs and sentences for better coherence, as well as correcting grammatical errors to enhance clarity. The phrase 'I wanted to express my gratitude' replaces the repetitive 'I am writing' to improve lexical variety. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating more cohesive devices throughout the letter and varying sentence structures further to demonstrate a wider grammatical range. Overall, the tone used is appropriate for the context, maintaining a friendly and informal style suitable for a letter to a friend.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The letter is generally coherent, with a logical flow of ideas. However, some sentences could be better connected. For instance, the transition between thanking Julia and describing the watch could be smoother. Using cohesive devices like 'Furthermore' or 'Additionally' could improve the flow.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
The letter contains several grammatical errors, such as 'thank you for having me' instead of 'thank you for having me over' and 'have a black leather strap' should be 'has a black leather strap.' These errors affect clarity but do not significantly impede understanding. More complex sentence structures could also be employed to demonstrate a wider range.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the context, but there are some repetitive phrases, such as 'I am writing' and 'great time.' To enhance the lexical resource, the writer could use synonyms or varied expressions, such as 'I wanted to express my gratitude' or 'it was a delightful experience.'
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The letter addresses all parts of the task: it thanks the friend, describes the watch, and requests action regarding the watch. However, the expression of gratitude could be more specific, and the request could be clearer. For example, instead of 'can you please call me?', a more polite phrasing like 'I would appreciate it if you could call me' would enhance the tone.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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