You were invited to your friend's birthday party but you are unable to attend. Write a letter to your friend and include the following: - Apologize for not being able to attend the party - Explain why you cannot come - Arrange another time to meet and celebrate together
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
The letter effectively addresses all required points, including an apology, an explanation for absence, and a suggestion to meet later, which is a key strength. However, the tone could be more formal, and clarity could be improved through better phrasing. Critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, as there were several errors in verb forms and sentence structures. Structural changes made include correcting awkward phrases and ensuring proper verb tenses. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented include varying vocabulary to avoid repetition and enhancing the formality of the tone. Overall, the tone used is appropriate for a letter to a friend, but a slightly more formal approach could enhance the overall quality.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The letter has a logical structure, but some sentences are awkwardly constructed, which affects the flow. For example, 'I am write to you regarding about your birthday party' could be simplified to 'I am writing to you about your birthday party.' Using more cohesive devices could enhance the overall clarity.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
There are several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms and sentence structures, such as 'I am write' and 'I apology for cannot attend.' These errors detract from the overall clarity. To improve, focus on using correct verb tenses and structures, and proofread for minor mistakes.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are some repetitive phrases and awkward expressions, such as 'I am feel' and 'I will missed.' To improve, try to use a wider range of vocabulary and avoid repetition, for instance, using synonyms for 'celebrate' or 'party.'
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The letter addresses all the required points: an apology, an explanation for absence, and a suggestion to meet later. However, the tone could be more formal, and the phrasing could be clearer. For improvement, consider using more formal language and ensuring clarity in your explanations.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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