You would like to reduce your working hours in order to study part time. Write a letter to your boss. In your letter explain why you want to reduce your working hours say which hours you would like to work describe how your part-time studies would benefit your employer

Part 1 (General)
6.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

Dear Mr. Smith, I am writing to you because iI would like to ask for permission abouto reduce my working hours. This is due to the fact that iI am going to study part-time at the university for a master's degree. It is very important for me to improvenhance my knowledges and skills. I am aware that the company policy irequires all employees musto work full-time from 9 am to 5 pm. However, iI would vergreatly appreciate it if iI canould work only from 9 am to 2 pm, Monday to Friday. I promise iI will still complete all my tasks and meet the deadlines as usual. The part-time course iI am taking is in Business Management. I believe that what iI will learn from this course can be beneficial to our company. For example, i canI plan to apply the new management techniques, such as effective team communication and project management strategies, to improve our team's efficiency and productivity. MoreoverFurthermore, after iI graduate, iI will have the qualifyications to take on more responsibilities and contribute more to the company's grow.th. I would be grateful if you could consider my request. I am looking forward to discussing this matter further with you. Thank you for your time and consideration. Your Ss sincerely, John
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Expert Feedback

The letter demonstrates a clear understanding of the task requirements, effectively explaining the request to reduce working hours and the reasons behind it. Key strengths include a logical structure and a polite tone, which is appropriate for a formal request. However, there are critical areas for improvement, particularly in grammatical accuracy and lexical resource. The writer should focus on proofreading for errors and varying their vocabulary to avoid repetition. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, enhancing cohesion with transitional phrases, and providing specific examples of management techniques to illustrate how the studies will benefit the company. For further improvements, the writer could elaborate on how the new skills will be implemented in the workplace and ensure all sentences are grammatically correct. Overall, the tone is appropriate and maintains professionalism throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The letter is generally coherent, with a logical flow of ideas. However, some sentences could be better connected to enhance the overall cohesion. For instance, the transition between discussing the working hours and the benefits of the course could be smoother. Using more cohesive devices, such as 'Furthermore' or 'In addition,' could improve the flow.
6.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
There are several grammatical errors, including incorrect capitalization ('i' should be 'I') and awkward constructions ('about reduce my working hours' should be 'to reduce my working hours'). While the overall meaning is clear, these errors detract from the professionalism of the letter. To improve, the writer should proofread for grammatical accuracy and vary sentence structures.
6.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the context, but there are instances of repetition and some awkward phrasing, such as 'improve my knowledges.' The writer could enhance their lexical resource by using synonyms or more sophisticated expressions, such as 'enhance my knowledge and skills' instead of 'improve my knowledges.'
6.0
Task Achievement
The letter addresses the task requirements by explaining the reason for reducing working hours, specifying the desired hours, and describing the benefits of part-time studies for the employer. However, the explanation could be more detailed, particularly regarding how the studies will directly benefit the company. For improvement, the writer could provide specific examples of management techniques they plan to implement.
7.0

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