Your employer is considering ways to adjust working hours and reduce them overall. You have been asked to provide your suggestions on how to improve this change. In your letter write: Explain why you think reducing working hours is a good idea Suggest how the work hours could be reduced Describe how these changes would benefit the company

Part 1 (General)
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

Dear Manager, I am writing in regards with to the consideringation of reduceing working hours. I thinkbelieve this change will be good forbeneficial for both employees and the company both. There are manyseveral reasons which I will explain you. First of all, reduceing working hours will improve employee motivateion. They will be more happyier and feel likthat the company cares about them. Therefore, they will work more efficiently when at the office. Alsodditionally, if employees are not tired from long hours, they make lesswill make fewer mistakes inat work, which is benefitscial for the company. Secondly, I have some ideas on how to reduce theimplement the reduction of working hours. For example, we could start the work earlier and finish earlier too, likesuch as from 7 am to 3 pm instead of 9 am to 5. Or we pm. Alternatively, we could have a shorter lunch break, of only 30 minutes, andllowing us to go home earlier. Another way isoption is to work from home sometime, itoccasionally, which can save time foron commute.ing. Lastly, I believe these changes will bring many benefits to our company I believe. Employees will be more loyal and stay with the company longer. They will also take less sick leave because they will have time to rest. AndFurthermore, the company can save money on electricity and office costs if employees work from home. In conclusion, I strongly believe that reduceing working hours is a good decision. It will make employees happyier and more productive, which is good for the company's development. I hope you will take my suggestions into consideration. Please let me know if you have any question.s. Your Ss sincerely, [Name]
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Expert Feedback

The letter demonstrates a clear understanding of the task requirements, addressing the benefits of reducing working hours and suggesting practical implementations. Key strengths include a logical structure and a clear argument. However, critical areas for improvement include enhancing the development of ideas with specific examples or statistics, improving coherence with better transitions, and correcting grammatical errors. Structural changes made include refining the introduction for clarity, improving transitions between ideas, and correcting grammatical inaccuracies. Suggestions for further improvement not implemented include incorporating specific data to support claims and varying vocabulary to avoid repetition. The tone used is appropriate for a formal letter, maintaining professionalism throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The letter has a logical structure with clear paragraphs, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Some transitions between ideas are abrupt, and the use of cohesive devices is limited. For instance, using phrases like 'In addition' or 'Furthermore' could enhance the connection between points.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
There are several grammatical errors and awkward constructions throughout the letter, such as 'I am writing in regards with the considering of reduce working hours' and 'I strong believe that reduce work hour is a good decision.' These errors affect clarity and professionalism. Improving sentence structure and ensuring subject-verb agreement would enhance the overall quality.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition (e.g., 'employee' and 'working hours'). Additionally, some phrases are awkwardly constructed, such as 'reduce working hours' instead of 'reducing working hours.' Expanding the range of vocabulary and using more varied expressions would improve this score.
6.0
Task Achievement
The letter addresses the task requirements by explaining why reducing working hours is beneficial, suggesting ways to implement this change, and describing the potential benefits for the company. However, the explanation could be more developed and specific. For example, providing statistics or studies on productivity related to reduced hours could strengthen the argument.
6.5

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