Your English-speaking friend has asked for your help with a college project he/she is doing about celebrating New Year in different countries. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter - say how important New Year is to people in your country - describe how New Year is celebrated in your country - explain what you like about New Year celebrations in your country
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
1. Key strengths of the essay include a clear structure with distinct paragraphs for each point, addressing the task requirements by discussing the importance of New Year, describing celebrations, and sharing personal feelings about the festivities. 2. Critical areas for improvement include correcting spelling and grammatical errors, enhancing coherence with better linking words, and varying vocabulary to avoid repetition. 3. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving spelling, and enhancing the flow of sentences. For example, 'the New Year have big importance' was changed to 'the New Year has great importance', and 'celabrating' was corrected to 'celebrate'. Additionally, awkward phrases were revised for clarity. 4. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating more specific examples of traditions or foods associated with the celebration and using a wider range of vocabulary to enrich the text further. 5. The tone used is appropriate for a friendly letter, maintaining a warm and personal touch while discussing the topic.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The letter has a logical structure and flows reasonably well, with clear paragraphs for each point. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances of awkward phrasing (e.g., 'the firework start and light up the sky so beautiful'). To enhance coherence, the writer could use more linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
The letter contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('the New Year have big importance'), incorrect verb forms ('celabrating', 'beutiful'), and awkward sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, these errors affect the overall accuracy. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical correctness and varying sentence structures.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate for the topic, but there are several spelling errors and some repetition (e.g., 'celebrating', 'New Year'). The writer could improve by incorporating a wider range of vocabulary and ensuring correct spelling. For example, using synonyms for 'celebrate' or 'important' could enhance the richness of the text.
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The letter addresses the task requirements by discussing the importance of New Year, describing celebrations, and explaining personal feelings about the festivities. However, there are some inaccuracies in spelling and grammar that detract from the overall clarity. To improve, the writer could ensure correct spelling (e.g., 'countries', 'celebrating', 'temples') and provide more specific examples of traditions or foods associated with the celebration.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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