Your English-speaking friend has asked for your help with a college project she is doing about celebrating New Year in different countries. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: Say how important New Year is to people in your country Describe how New Year is celebrated in your country Explain what you like about New Year celebrations in your country
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
The letter demonstrates a good understanding of the task requirements, effectively discussing the significance of New Year celebrations and personal reflections. Key strengths include a clear structure and relevant content. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly with subject-verb agreement and word forms, as well as the use of more varied vocabulary to enhance lexical resource. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving cohesion with better transitions, and ensuring proper paragraph separation. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented include incorporating more cohesive devices and varying sentence structures to enhance fluency. The tone is generally appropriate for a letter to a friend, but could be slightly more informal in some areas.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The letter is generally coherent, with a logical flow of ideas. However, some sentences could be better linked for improved cohesion. For example, the transition between the description of food and the midnight celebrations could be smoother. Using more cohesive devices like 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' could enhance the flow.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
There are several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('this foods are' should be 'these foods are') and incorrect forms ('pass down' should be 'passed down'). While the overall meaning is clear, these errors detract from the overall accuracy and range of grammatical structures used.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the context, but there are instances of repetition and inaccuracies, such as 'collage' instead of 'college' and 'celebratings' instead of 'celebrations'. More varied vocabulary could be employed, such as using 'festivities' instead of 'celebrations' to enhance lexical resource.
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The letter addresses the task requirements by discussing the importance of New Year, describing celebrations, and explaining personal likes. However, there are some inaccuracies, such as 'the New Years is very importance' which should be 'the New Year is very important'. Additionally, the tone could be slightly more informal to match the context of a letter to a friend.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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