Your English speaking friend who lives in your town has asked for your advice about learning a new sport. Write an email to your friend. In your email: Recommend a new sport that would be suitable for your friend to learn Explain how your friend could learn this sport Suggest that you both learn this sport together
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
The email effectively addresses the task by recommending tennis as a suitable sport, explaining how to learn it, and suggesting to learn together. Key strengths include a clear structure and logical progression of ideas. However, critical areas for improvement include addressing grammatical errors, enhancing vocabulary variety, and providing more specific details about learning resources. Structural changes made include correcting spelling errors, improving grammatical accuracy, and adding specific examples of online resources. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented include varying sentence structures and incorporating more cohesive devices for smoother transitions. The tone used is appropriate for a friendly email, maintaining a warm and encouraging style.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The email is generally coherent and logically structured, with clear progression from the recommendation to the learning options and the suggestion to practice together. However, some transitions could be smoother, and the use of cohesive devices could be more varied to enhance the flow of ideas.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
The email demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement ('many people are playing it' should be 'many people play it') and incorrect article usage ('a great recomendation' should be 'a great recommendation'). These errors affect clarity and accuracy, but the overall message remains understandable.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the context, with some good phrases like 'hand-eye coordination' and 'exciting idea.' However, there are instances of repetition (e.g., 'play' and 'playing') and some minor spelling errors ('advise' should be 'advice,' 'recomendation' should be 'recommendation,' and 'lession' should be 'lesson'). A wider range of vocabulary would enhance the overall quality.
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The email effectively addresses the task by recommending tennis as a suitable sport, explaining how to learn it, and suggesting to learn together. However, the response could be improved by providing more specific details about the learning process, such as mentioning specific online resources or local clubs.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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